The secret life of a writer, just before he writes

and the desire for distraction

From what I can tell on the dashboards provided by Kindle and Kobo, my mystery novel The Book of Answers is bought by someone, somewhere, almost every day. On some days there are multiple sales.

I am getting a little better at not checking those dashboards. When I feel the urge, I ask myself why I’m about to do it. Here are some possible answers:

1. It’s become an habituated behaviour. I sit at my work table, move papers around, check the post-its on my bulletin board to see which scene I was last working on, while I wait the few seconds for the laptop to come to life. The screen lights up, my hands hover over the keys, and my fingers remember how to open the Kindle Reports page, so they just do it.

2. The few keystrokes it takes to get to a dashboard may result in my ego also getting stroked- more sales! More people are taking a chance on my book!

3. It’s a delaying tactic. I think shifting into writing mode is somewhat analogous to letting someone else take the wheel on a long drive. My executive function may know it’s just fine to not be in control all the time, but it still resists. The murkier regions of my brain? soul? inner depths? can actually steer for a while, but the ride won’t be smooth, or on a known route. The illusion of confident control has to be left at the side of the road.